As Long As You Tried Your Best

 

Parent and school responses to the performance of children serve as a powerful force in the development of motivation, perseverance, confidence, and deeper feelings of self-worth. For many of us, 100’s on report cards and tests, home runs or great plays in Little League, and a house full of friends and numerous playdates, are a source of great pride and satisfaction. Continue reading

Loving Parenting Paradox

 

In my prior article, “Loving Parenting”, I raised the question as to why we are more at ease and more effective when managing other people’s children than our own. It seems that when we take “love” out of the equation, we are better able to utilize more rational and problem solving approaches to management, and that children are more able to identify rules and conform to expectations. Continue reading

Helping Kids Play

 

Social skill development has its origins in the social interactions of family life. Like most skills, the forces of practice, modeling, coaching, reinforcement, consequences, making mistakes and problem solving, are involved in improving one’s performance. How then as parents, can we provide our children with the opportunity to model and practice the skills needed for social success? Continue reading

The Complexities of Parenting

 

I am often struck by the variety and intensity of my feelings as a parent. Try to remember back to the first time you saw your newborn child, your emotions at their Bar Mitzvah, first Communion or wedding, the peacefulness of watching them while they’re sleeping. Compare these emotions with worries about their safety, your response to their disrespect or disobedience, failing a test, or neglecting their obligations. Continue reading

Rewards, Reinforcers, and Doing Right by Our Kids

 

The use of rewards as a means of encouraging our children to behave properly or be productive has been referred to as a “carrot and stick” approach to parenting or teaching. At its most basic, the instruction becomes an “If you do this, then I will give you that”, and conversely, “if you don’t do this you won’t get that”. Continue reading